A tail of a Mary Sue
by U2LoVeR
Summary: My dog has joined the fellowship! Madness insues! R&R please!
1. Figwit has some lines!

A/N: This is my first fanfic, so be nice. If you must, do constructive criticism. But if you flame, o well, more reviews for me! I don't think I've read of any one else with this story plot, but if I have copied someone, I'm very, very, very sorry. This was thought up a night when I could not sleep (I need to exercise harder).  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lotr or any of those characters, blah, blah. but I do happen to own Little Miss Phiebe. Now to the story.  
  
  
  
A Tail of a Mary Sue  
  
"Good night, Phiebe," Chloe whispered to the sleeping Chihuahua on the pillow next to her bed as she turned off her light. Phiebe was a rather small and beautiful Chihuahua, weighing 4 pounds. She had fawn brown fur with white paws and a white tip on her tail. She was unlike other Chihuahuas in that she was more beautiful and very stupid. At ten months, she was beginning to learn to where to go to the potty, sat every once in while when commanded, was getting to learn to come. She had however, knew "go get your toy" very, very well. Hmm, maybe she wasn't a dumb as she led on to be. Once Chloe, her master, was asleep, Phiebe noticed a bright light. Phiebe got up and walked closely to it. Since this is a dog's Mary Sue, we all know that it is a portal to Middle-Earth, to the council of Elrond to be exact, but since Phiebe had never read fan-fic and was incredibly stupid, she started wagging her tail and pounced in.  
  
~*~  
  
"And you have my b-" started Legolas.  
  
"LOOK!" cried Figwit. After receiving death glares by Legolas, which made it look like an ugly fight was about to start, Elrond cut in.  
  
"Figwit, you know that Legolas doesn't have very many lines, so we should listen when he does have them."  
  
"But I don't have any!"  
  
Elrond thought about it for a second, "Good point, proceed."  
  
"Thank you. LOOK, IT'S A DOG!"  
  
Everyone turned around to see a little dog wagging her tail and pouncing up to the fellowship. She immediately started to jump on Aragorn.  
  
"EWWW," cried Aragorn, "Groedy, they stink and who knows where those paws have been. I don't like the way she's looking at me."  
  
"Oh Aragorn, I think she's cute," said Legolas as he picked up the dog. Actually, Legolas loved the little thing from the moment he saw her and wanted to keep her forever, since he had the time. He saw a leather collar, where a gold thing was dangling. "What's this? Phiebe? That is a beautiful name, my fair doggy."  
  
"I think it would be a good idea to have a dog on this mission. Quest. Thing," said Pippin who somehow, as the rest of the characters who haven't yet offered their service, popped up and was in the Fellowship.  
  
"Oh no," started Aragorn.  
  
"That's a good idea, Pippin." started Gandalf.  
  
"Ooh no."  
  
"Yes, I think we should," Frodo put in.  
  
"No!"  
  
"That settles it, you shall be The Fellowship of the Ring," Elrond decided. The inspirational music started only to be drowned out by Aragorn.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" He cried and started running around in circles asking "Why me?!"  
  
"Yay!!" cried Legolas, which made Phiebe promptly start licking his face. Only then did Aragorn stop crying for a second.  
  
"EWWW! Gross! Do you know where that tongue has been?" With that thought Aragorn shuddered, and started crying again, but Legolas just smiled. ~*~ E/N: Like it? Hate it? Got any suggestions? Well I decided to make it like a real Mary Sue, so that's why everyone's favorite elf fell in love with her, not Aragorn. Aragorn hates her because, well, someone has to if my sister's not around to. 


	2. Aragorns misadventure and the Fellowship...

A/N: What? No Reviews? Oh well, this is fun, I'll keep writing anyways.  
  
Disclaimer: No, unfortunately, I don't own LOTR, but I do own the very stupid but sometimes surprisingly smart Phiebe.  
  
~*~  
  
After the council, Legolas and Pippin decided to give Phiebe some food and water. Phiebe start to lap up the water and lembas she was given.  
  
"Are you sure it's a good idea to give a dog some lembas?" questioned Pippin  
  
"Of course it is, Elvish food is good for everything, including dogs," Legolas replied in a matter-of-fact voice.  
  
Once she ate quite a few pieces, it was decided to take her a walk.  
  
"Legolas, she doesn't look to good," Pippin started to complain.  
  
"Don't be stupid, Pippin, she's fine"  
  
"I don't know"  
  
At that time Elrond happened to walk by. "You know Legolas, she doesn't look to good, are you sure she's alright? What did you feed her?"  
  
"Oh, water and some lembas."  
  
"What! You can't feed a dog lembas, it's not good for their system, especially for such a small dog. She could throw- up!"  
  
But it was to late, for she had thrown- up, right in front of Aragorn's door. Of course, everyone noticed just in time for Aragorn to open the door and walk out.  
  
"Eww," cried Pippin. Aragorn looked down.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! This is soooo gross!! EW, EW, EW, EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Get rid of that dog!! EW, EW." he went on and on as he ran down the hall to the nearest bathroom that he could find. Everyone went on watching him until he was far out of sight, than shrugged. Pippin and Legolas took Phiebe outside, while Elrond went to call for some janitors.  
  
~*~  
  
The fateful day arrived that the Fellowship should leave. Everyone was well decked out with arrows, knives, swords and all that good weapon stuff. Even Phiebe had a little bow and arrows which Legolas demanded be made for her.  
  
"Legolas, don't you think it's a little over the top to have bow and arrows for Phiebe?" questioned Frodo.  
  
"Yeah, it's just a stupid, dumb mutt," said Aragorn, all the while glaring at Phiebe.  
  
"No, I don't," Legolas replied, glaring at Aragorn, "I think it's cute."  
  
"Well, uh, goodbye and good luck," Elrond wished them farewell and shoved them out, closing the door behind them. "Finally, I thought they would never leave," he said to himself with a sigh of relief.  
  
"I heard that!" Legolas cried from the other side of the door.  
  
~*~  
  
Well, I done with writing for now. Please review!!!! 


	3. Give the dog to Legolas, Aragorn

A/N: Ahh, fan fiction, U2, ("Even Better Than the Real Thing", "Salome", "Where Did it All go Wrong" and "Lady With the Spinning Head") and Malt-o- Meal on a cloudy day.what could be more perfect.  
  
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Disclaimer: Nope, no LOTR, and nope, still have Phiebe (who has been brat lately)  
  
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Last we left our little doggy, she was off on an adventure with the Fellowship. Hahahahaha. oh sorry, just imaging *snicker* Phiebe *snicker* the Chihuahua *snicker* my dog *snicker* on an adventure! HAHAHAHAHA. oh yeah, the rest of the story.  
  
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The whole fellowship was resting on a bunch of rocks after a hard hike. Frodo and Sam were watching with amusement as Pippin and Merry were learning to fight with Boromir, shouting an insult here and there.  
  
"Yo, maybe if you bite his kneecaps, Pip, you'll have a chance of winning," Sam shouted to them, making Frodo and Sam start to crack up, when Frodo glanced over at Legolas.  
  
"What are you doing Legolas!?!!"  
  
"Teaching Phiebe how to use her bow and arrow, what else would I be doing?"(A/N Thanx a ton to Asa for your idea!) Yes that's right. Teaching Queen Phiebe how to use a bow and arrow. Somehow, Legolas managed to so far teach Phiebe to stand on her hind legs, with the bow and arrow between her paws. "Legolas!" exclaimed Gandalf, "Your suppose to be keeping watch!"  
  
"What's that?" cries Sam.  
  
Before Gimli can say anything Legolas replies "It's nothing, just a wisp of clouds."  
  
"It's moving fast against the wind." Boromir replied. Everyone stood there for a moment looking at the sky, even Phiebe, except for Legolas who was busy trying to put the bow and arrow back on Phiebe. Silence. The "cloud" was getting uncomfortably close; soon even the morals could see what it was  
  
"Crebian from Dunland! Hide!" Cried Aragorn, who was clearly mad that Legolas hadn't yet said his line that everyone was waiting for.  
  
Everyone was under the bushes when Legolas cried out "Phiebe's still out there! Aragorn grab her!"  
  
"Why should I save the dumb mutt?"  
  
"Because your closest to her!"  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Aragorn, please, she's just a puppy!"  
  
"FINE!" Aragorn went out to grab her, when Phiebe playful step from his grasp. After what seemed like eternity (A/N: She does this whenever I'm late for school. It's so frustrating!) Aragorn managed to grab Phiebe and run under the bushes just in time. "Yuck, Ihavetograbthestupidmuttandriskmylife." Aragorn started to mumble under his breath as everyone started to crawl out of their hiding places.  
  
"Phiebe!" Legolas cried, who seriously looked like he was about to cry. He ran to pick her up and started to hug her hard. "I thought I was going to lose you. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."  
  
"I have a few ideas as to what I will do if I have to save that mutt again," Aragorn said, sounding seriously ticked, "Next time, save your own dog."  
  
"Spies for Saruman-"  
  
"Why is Saruman trying to get Phiebe?" Legolas questioned.  
  
Gandalf sighed "He's after the ring, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah, that's why we came."  
  
Gandalf sighed again "Yes. We have to go up Carandras."  
  
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After Boromir had gone through his 'I want the ring' moment, everyone went on walking. Phiebe with her little green doggy sweater that matched Legolas' outfit, was laying peacefully in Legolas' arms.  
  
"Um, Legolas, why the sweater," Merry asked.  
  
"Phiebe gets cold up here."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Opps!" The author made Legolas fall (A/N: I can't think of a way for Legolas, with his elven grace, *author stops and imagines Legolas and starts to drool, but quickly gets back to reality* so I'm sorry to my fellow Legolas lovers) and Phiebe falls out of his arms.  
  
Legolas rolled down the mountain when Aragorn comes and picks up Phiebe. "Poor thing," he whispers to Phiebe.  
  
"Aragorn," Boromir says, making Aragorn snap out of his daze, "Give the dog to Legolas."  
  
"Of course," he says handing the dog to Legolas, laughing like it was nothing, "It's just a stupid mutt."  
  
"Whoa," Pippin says, "Déjà vu."  
  
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E/N: Now I'm listening to Travis. (yes I do sometimes listen to music other than U2) I know you guys were dying to know. I love "The Humptey- Dumptey Love Song." There is two songs after it if you wait for, like, a looooonnnnnng time (I just fast forward.) I'm so mad, tho. They can't take U2 off fan-fiction! That was my fav section! Support U2 fan fic: http://groups.msn.com/stories4boys. Oh yeah, PLEASE REVIEW! 


	4. On Mt Caradhras

A/N: I'm soo sorry I haven't written in so long. I won't take that long again. I promise. Cross- country ended last Thursday (. I won a medal at a run I went to this Sunday, tho! TOP 100! GO ME! Sorry, I just had to brag there. On with the story.  
  
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Disclaimer: Do I have to go through this again? LOTR, no; Phiebe, yes. I don't care if you use Phiebe in your story. Just tell me so I can read and review it, O.K?  
  
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Last we left Phiebe and that little clique we like to call the Fellowship of the Ring they were on Mt. Carandhras, wait, why am I telling you this, if you want to know what's happening THEN READ THE STORY!  
  
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While the whole fellowship was struggling under the snow, Legolas and Phiebe were having a good time, since elves can walk on air and Phiebe would blow away if there was a breeze.  
  
"Come here Phiebe, good girl!" Legolas ran to another spot, "Come here Phiebe, come he-"  
  
"Would you stop playing with that mutt and help us," Sam grunted, sock of hearing "come here" while he was stuck under the snow.  
  
Legolas, however paid no attention to Sam. "Maybe I can teach her in Elvish," he thought aloud.  
  
Sam started grumbling to himself till he looked over at Phiebe, "Legolas, why is Phiebe shaking?"  
  
"Because there is a foul voice in the air, why else?"  
  
"Saruman!" Gandalf gasped.  
  
After trying forever to fight the mountain, which was kind of a given he wouldn't win, Gimli spoke up.  
  
"If we cannot go over the mountain, let us go under it. Let us go thru the Mines of Moria."  
  
"Let the ringbearer-" Gandalf started.  
  
"Please can we go to the Mines? I'm cold, wet and am stuck under. Please can we go? Please, please, pleeeeeeeeease?"  
  
"Alright, let's go," Gandalf sighed.  
  
"I don't know why your so set against going thru the mines, Gandalf," Pippin remarked cheerfully, "What's the worst that could happen?"  
  
Gandalf only sighed harder.  
  
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E/N: Sorry this chapter's so short. I'll write again soon. Very soon. Like next week soon. Reviews motivate me, ya' know. Oh yeah, does anyone know Elvish dog commands? 


	5. Passwords and arguments

A/N: All right, I lied. I didn't update in less than a week. I was too lazy. Thanx so much for the reviews everybody! YOU GUYS ROCK! Ooo, I had a dream last night that I shaved my head. And I liked it. But the next day it grew out and I was bummed. Weird.  
  
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Disclaimer: I don't own lotr, but I do own Phiebe. I can own lotr when I rule the world. Phiebe and I will wait till then.  
  
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Soon the whole fellowship was at the doors of the Mines of Moria, when it turns out that Gandalf is too old to remember the password and Gimli, whose family lives in there, doesn't have a clue what the password to get in is. Meanwhile, Legolas is yelling at Aragon, who is teasing Phiebe.  
  
"Aragon, stop chasing Phiebe right this second," Legolas picked Phiebe up and seriously looked like he was about to cry, again.  
  
"Sheesh Legolas, you don't have to get all choked up about it," Aragorn retorted, "You're too sensitive with that dog."  
  
"Yeah Legolas," Pippin joined in, "Why are you so close with that dog?"  
  
"Because she's more than a dog to me," Legolas looked in Phiebe's eyes, "She's my best friend."  
  
"Awwww," Merry, Sam, and Gimli cried, looked at each other, coughed and tried to look more, um, hobbitly and dwarfly.  
  
"Friend, hmmm," Frodo said, who had also been listening, "Gandalf, what's the elvish word for friend?"  
  
"Mellon." The gates opened.  
  
When the fellowship entered the building, realized their mistake and tried to run when Frodo gets captured. Everyone helped to free Frodo, except for Queen Phiebe, who hid under a rock and started shaking and barking. Finally when the fellowship defeats the monster and ran into the mines Phiebe ran after them with her hair raised.  
  
"Your dogs got some courage," Aragorn said with a snort.  
  
"She's got more courage in one of her whiskers than you have in your whole body," Legolas replied angrily, "Besides in the books, only Sam helps him."  
  
"Yeah! Why are we suddenly changing everything," Sam butt in.  
  
"Oh crap, now we have to go through this 'Why is the movie different from the book' argument all over again," Gandalf sighed.  
  
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E/N: I would write more, but that part will make it too long. Please review and I'll write sooner.  
  
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battgirl_93014: Whoa! That it just too weird! I love Batman too! Maybe we're long lost twins are something! But do you like the new "Batman Beyond" cartoon? 'Cause I love it! 


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